Fradam

The other evening, a curious sight was beheld: a sandwich in a zip lock bag. Perhaps not so remarkable on its own, but presented below for all to see.

What, pray tell, could be so interesting about this?

Why, the efforts one puts into getting inside!

This little pigeon struggled to pierce the plastic stronghold, but alas, in vain: its physical prowess was no match for this piece of human engineering. It reminded me of the last time I was attempting to peck my way through a zip lock bag - needless to say, it was a highly unfruitful experience.

More generically, I pondered how often we struggle against a foe that quite obviously represents an order of magnitude of difficulty greater than what can be borne… yet we try. Why do we try? The glimmer of hope that exists can have incredible resilience, particularly when partnered with a pillar of persistence. Humans are known for being stubborn, and I know I exhibit this trait on many an occassion. When I first began playing squash, I recall that it took 20 months for me to be the winner at the end of the night. 20 months of week after week, returning back home a loser of the evening, being forced to recount my shameful defeat to my housemates over dinner. Even when I did begin winning, it did occur to me that newborn-induced sleep deprivation may have slightly hampered my partner’s performance, so it did not even feel that I had improved greatly.

Yet we try. Immersing myself in stories of those who struggle against all odds and triumph is a delight. To know that others face hardship, but have succeeded by continuing to try… brings a smile to my face. It pushes me to keep trying. To keep dreaming the impossible dream. So my challenge for today is to look at what appears to be the immovable object in your life, and to keep trying. To persist, to push and to hopefully prevail.

don quixote, life, pigeons, trying

I’ve long heard that those who are pregnant notice a lot more pregnant people around. The same for those who wear glasses - suddenly it seems like everyone wears them. No, I don’t have any large announcements to share.. but anyone who has been on the roads with me probably has had heard enough about the abundance of Excels on the road

More and more does this concept come true for me; any topic that crosses the mind seems to suddenly come alive in music, movies, conversation. Lyrics, random movie lines, new people and old alike.. the power of active thought seems phenomenal, almost scary and just a little bit magical. A part of me almost wonders whether the thought does more than simply draw the attention to the thought - whether it somehow creates the effect in the world around us. Ofcourse, by now you are crying things like “Ludicrous!” and “Entertain us further with your ridiculousness!”.. but is it really so strange?

What if I saw someone smiling, and that caused me to smile? OK, a smile isn’t an Excel.. but it’s a start. Perhaps if more people drove a purple car, there’d be more smiles!?

life, philosophy, purple car

The other day, I purchased new laces for my old basketball shoes. The game on Sunday night felt a lot easier on my feet than games previously; my shoes were tighter, stronger, safer. I felt almost as if I had a new lease on my basketball life. Or at least that the life of my basketball shoes had been graciously extended a second life. Considering I’d been contemplating new shoes for some time, this was definitely a big saving too. So far, I’m 2/2 for basketball games since then too.

I wonder if it is possible to buy new laces for life.

Lately, the shoes have been looking a little worn out, and something new which would extend it’s life would certainly be welcomed.. but what?

basketball, life, shoes

That’s right; I’ve found the secret. After a (relatively short) lifetime of saying goodbye to friends (as much as you can do when you live in your home town for 20 or so years), and struggling terribly with it, I’ve made a discovery which will possibly shock the world. Or at least this part of my world. Or well.. at least, it shocked me. As most would know, I distance myself from change as quickly as a leaf-dependent sloth gets away from a lithe jaguar. i.e. I invariably get caught, but hopefully make a tasty morsel for the change agent. All that could change (!) now, and become a thing of the past. In the future, I might just become a sloth that consumes more than leaves, I could sup upon branches too, and we may find that the jaguar no longer finds me quite as an attractive prey.

It’s really quite simple too. What is it exactly that I fear? Saying goodbye. The thought that I might not see the person(s) again. The thought that the world will not be the same; specifically, that the world will be particularly less pleasant from someone’s absence. The key to conquering the fear: don’t think of it as a goodbye. Believe that the world will not be the same, but that you might see the person again, and that although it may feel less pleasant initially, in the long-run it could just turn out okay.

Yes, I am quite aware that many people have been telling me this for literally.. years. But why in the world would I listen to friends and family who were trying to help me cope with saying goodbye to people? That sounds like way too good of an idea.

So, you’re probably wondering, how did such a revelation as this, come to me? What happened, that this simple piece of wisdom that so many have tried to impart to me, finally broke through?

On Friday night, I went to a farewell party; a common scene that I often struggle with. This time, it was different. Although I was farewelling a friend, I knew I’d be seeing more of her once she left (as peculiar as that sounds)… so I was able to very easily rationalise that life was actually going to get better. It was easy to do it in this case, because there was a matter of 3 days involved; I could connect the dots from the sadness of separation to the joy of joining myself.

As I reflect upon periods of saying goodbye in my life, these same dots existed, but usually had weeks, months, or in some case, years, connecting them. In the moment, my vision would be limited; I couldn’t see that far… but in hindsight, it seemed to always work out for the best. Someone looking out for me?

Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m seeing my recently farewelled friend. Hurray

change, farewell, goodbye, life, philosophy, work

Thanks to Kevin Rudd’s desire to stimulate the economy, I now have some unexpected cash. It’s a strange position. I did nothing to earn it, yet it’s there. There’s actually a peculiar discomfort with it. I cannot quite articulate it properly, so I might just fumble around a little and try. It’s an undeserved gift, if you will.. sounds familiar in a way, except there was no opportunity to accept or decline the gift, it just appeared in my account yesterday.

Now the question is, what to do with it? I feel there’s a sense of responsibility associated with it. The government wants me to spend it to help our economy, but as I understand it, unless you’re buying from wholly Australian owned businesses, that money is going overseas. That means most of the suggestions people have given me (car, chocolate, electric blanket mobile, computer parts etc) won’t really meet the intended goal.

I sort of feel like I’ve won the lottery and that the money should be going to a cause, or to help a need that I know of, but being woefully socially ignorant as always, my mind is drawing blanks. How shameful right? I know there is a tonne of need around me - locally, globally, and in people closer to me… and here I am wondering what to do with the money the government has given me. Something feels so self-indulgently unwholesome about this position.

So, my question to anyone who happens to reading this… what are you doing with your stimulus package? Do you have any suggestions? Just to reiterate, yes, chocolate has been suggested many times, but I don’t think even I could justify that much of it unless it was going somewhere else. Hmmmm…

government, kevin rudd, life, money, stimulus package

On Saturday evening, I had the scariest driving experience.

As some would know, I’m still learning to drive, and as such, am liable to find myself in fearful positions every so often. Driving home from Woollahra with the Walls, we ended up in Bondi Junction and along the main road there back to the city. The streets were teeming with life; young and old were walking around, many wearing far too little in the clothing department for a chilly evening, and most definitely not entirely sober. In fact, there were a fair few instances of those who were a little more on the inebriated side, attempting to venture out into traffic, right from between two parked cars. Thankfully, I didn’t witness any accidents… but whoa. That wasn’t the scariest part though.

Heading along Oxford street through the city is not something I do too often on a Saturday evening. It’s clear that this part of the city does not sleep. There were the same challenges with pedestrians in the guise of Superman, the only difference is that this time you could see exactly where they had come from. But that wasn’t the scary part either.

Shorty after this, I looked left out of Graham’s window and found the light from the outside was obscured slightly; a strange shape in fact.

The shape had 8 legs and was not too small.

Thankfully, it was outside.. but that was by far and large the scariest part of the night. I don’t want to think about what my response would have been were it inside.

driving, life, oxford st, spiders

Reposting this for the non-Facebookers (I know, I didn’t believe it was true either!).. so really, feel free to ignore if you saw it already, there are no differences between this one and the one on Facebook… or are there? Muahahaha… if nothing else though, it’s a nice snapshot of what is going on at the moment.

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I find it really interesting how quickly this note is spreading.. yey for memes. I’m always interested in learning about people - so feel free to either write your own one of these, or ignore me, as you desire. Having said that, I’m going to tag people who either tagged me in their lists, or I’m really hoping write a list. I’ve also discovered that there is a limit to the number of people I can tag.. oh well.

Yes, I wrote more than 10/16/25/whatever. Yes, it is vain and a lot of other things. However, there are a lot of things in my head and if you’re reading this, you probably know how much I love talking about myself.

1. I have difficulty walking downstairs without a railing. Or upstairs for that matter. Actually, just stairs in general. Can we replace them with escalators?

2. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not actually very short at all.

3. I love happiness, opportunities to smile at people, the thought of brightening someone’s day and generally anything involving cheeryness.

4. God gave me big ears for a reason: to one day play Dumbo in a local production.

5. I absolutely love reading the random facts people write about themselves. In fact, I’ve been making it a point to look for all the random things people have been writing about themselves.

6. You probably are going to get bored reading the random facts about me, since I tend to find something interesting about everything. I know, it’s really self-absorbing - so you may want to stop now.

7. Puns are a few of my favourite things

8. Following on from #7, I love laughing and making light of things. This often occurs at inappropriate times, but I still can take things seriously.

9. Also following from #7 (not that #9 generally follows #7.. except when seven ate eight), any opportunity to integrate a song lyric into ordinary conversation must be seized. I feel that song lyrics were often written to reflect life experiences, so if life experience reflects a song, then isn’t that what the song writer intended? If you give me a blank look in response, it is okay though. But if you recognise it, HURRAY - do try to keep going with the song!

10. I love song trivia: what year something was published, who has covered it since, who got away with sampling one of the songs and turning it into one of the first rap songs, etc. If you know some song trivia I don’t, please share it, I’m always keen to learn more.

11. #9 also goes for Simpsons quotes: I’ll often see events in light of an instance that Simpsons looked at a particular scenario and feel compelled to retell the story. This usually works better if at least one person has seen the episode, but don’t think that a lack of a Simpsons-savvy person will stop me!

12. When on IM, I tend to overuse smileys a little I guess it’s because I kinda wish deep down that I had a little yellow face that could be sent with my messages.. and #3 too.

13. Following from #11, I like to drop in movie quotes where I can. I can’t help it.

14. I love Australia dearly; am moved by Anzac day marches, a reading of Flanders’ Field, the playing of the Last Post. This is my island home.

15. I don’t cheer for Australia in cricket. It is not unpatriotic; my family needed some dinner time conversation, and if we all cheered for Australia, things would have been boring.. the habit stuck.

16. I have go-go-gadget arms and legs. But no helicopter under my hat - only home where it’s hung.

16. I’m still not quite sure why God blessed me with go-go-gadget arms and legs, but until I figure it out, I’m going to keep playing basketball, and offering to reach things off the top shelf for people.

17. Walking is something I really enjoy doing. Not always for a purpose, but rediscovering it has given me much joy.

18. I am not a competitive person; preferring to do things for fun instead. That’s all I really want: some fun.

19. Case in point: I enjoy playing squash, even though my first 19 months of playing netted me only two wins.

20. Board games are SO much fun. I wish we had more days/nights of just playing them. Seriously, why do so many people think they’re not cool anymore? Monopoly, Scrabble, RISK.. the list goes on and on really. I’d play them all night long.

21. Playing cards is in my blood. If you play cards of any sort, teach me what games you like and I’ll happily play for hours. I’ll happily teach what I know too, and then yey! We both know more card games.

22. UNO is a vicious game; people give you a Draw 4, say sorry and THEY DON’T MEAN IT. Sniff!

23. Playing Fast UNO (ask me for abridged rules if you’re interested) with 8 of us crowded in a single hotel room.. at 2am before my cousin’s wedding. So much fun.

24. I am amazed at how much blood can be drawn during games of spoons.. yet I continue to play it.

25. I’m really happy to acknowledge my betters.

26. Mental puzzles and games are really cool. If I’ve ever given you one, I assure you, my clues are not intended to be obscure and cryptic.. really, they aren’t.

27. I LOVE guessing games. It sometimes drives people mad, particularly if they weren’t -that- interested in what I’m trying to get them to guess to begin with.

28. If you’ve ever been with me near my old school, place of residence, or any location I know, I’ll point it out to you. Even if I know you know, I’ll still probably point it out.

29. My high school years; particularly the last few, were amongst some of the best times of my life. Friendships that were made, interests that were cultivated.. it’s all been a blessing.

30. I really love my high school.. and my love don’t come easy. Okay, maybe it does

31. Having said all that I hope that the best is yet to come.

32. I love the fact that people tolerate me.

33. I don’t like chocolate - oh no - I love it!! But I’m not .. obsessed/dependant upon it.. really.

34. People say you never really forget how to ride a bike - I’m sorta curious if that is true having not ridden one since I was about 8.

35. Spiders, metal grates on the ground, aspects of the dark, large/loud dogs.. some of my tangible fears in no particular order. I think if there was such a thing as a spider-dog that hid in metal grates at night, that would be pretty terrible. But I could run faster than an eight-legged dog I think.

36. I am enthralled with weddings. The expressions of love and ardent admiration.. the effort to which the couple go to articulate their thoughts and emotions into vows.. beautiful. I can’t wait to be a bigger part of one.

37. I strongly believe we need to accentuate the positive. It’s not about ignoring hurt; but there is so much more good around us than we sometimes realise.

39. Driving is something I’m finally beginning to learn. If you’re on the road when I am: watch out! No really, it is quite exciting.. I’m just not excited about lane changes yet.

40. Rain is a beautiful thing. Walking in it, running it, playing in it - I being covered in the smell of it.. especially now in the summer rain.

41. Contrastingly, I love the smell of a campfire too. In that case, it is more than just the scent, it is also the many wonderful experiences I’ve had around them - singing, laughing and sharing with wonderful friends.

42. Patterns fascinate me. In nature, in life, in any games.. if I can spot any kind of ordering, or relationship between items, I’ll feel compelled to tell you about it. This can be inconvenient in conversations since I’ll link thoughts that most would consider relatively unrelated; for example, every item on this list relates to the item before and after it in some way.

43. If you’re reading this, you must be REALLY bored. To qualify this point as a fact about me: I am blown away that you’re still reading this exercise in pure and utter narcissism.

44. I’ve been obsessed with fairness and justice for a lot of my life. It has ended up with a fairer environment to live/work in, but in retrospect, I think being more forgiving at times would have been a better choice. I’m trying hard to be more like that.

45. If life was a musical, there’d be a lot more smiling around. I break into song at work a lot and I don’t get the most favourable of looks.. thank goodness most people use headphones now.

46. My Mum told me I need to apply sunscreen when I’m outside.. I probably should, but having not been burnt yet.. I will continue to tempt fate.

47. I’ve managed to avoid being burnt in the kitchen. Don’t ask me how; it is one of my favourite places, and cooking is something I thoroughly enjoy.. but it just hasn’t happened yet.

48. I love jinxing things.

49. Teenage guys have a peculiar way of expressing affection to one another; I remember getting/giving birthday bashings as a youngster. Rex had such a strong arm that I’d almost get knocked over… and as I got older, the number would only increase. It was so odd.. I mean these days, my natural inclination is to give a hug instead. Times like these you learn to give love in a different way I guess

50. One of these nights I’m going to take the Coles trolley that is outside our house, back to Coles. Really, I am!

51. I’ve surprised myself with how well I blend into walls and the like.. really, sometimes I’ve been somewhere, and so and so goes “Wow, I didn’t even see you there!”

52. Having read some of these items, I’m impressed that I can still call you a friend.. I hope Well, you know you’ve got a friend in me too! Seriously - if you ever need me, call me.

53. I used to own a pair of parachute pants. Stop; hammer time.

54. A day I’m really looking forward to is when there are little people running round calling me dad

55. Something I really enjoy is seeing my parents; it is sad that they are so far away from me. If I ever have a chance to rearrange parts of the world, I know what one of the things I’ll do is.

56. I forgot I was reasonably afraid of high areas until I went up the big swing at Big Fish. It was exhilirating though. Even if Adam T broke the rope 3x before I went up.. which definitely inspired a lot of confidence in the system - he ain’t even that heavy; he was my brother!

56. I am changing the world. I say that knowing we are all in the world, and have the ability to affect things around us, ergo, we are all changing the world every moment we breathe. Reiterating it makes it seem more real though, and is a good reminder that little things can have big impacts. People often ask, what can one person do? A lot.

57. A rainbow-flavoured umbrella is a fun thing to carry in North Sydney on rainy mornings - not so much to keep rain off my head since I do like that, but more just to add colour to the scenery.

58. Banana bread has been an addiction in the past. I’m still amazed at the 5000% markup on it at many cafes.. what a cash cow!

59. I am a glutton.. regularly.

60. I have rose-coloured glasses. No really, I really do! They are especially useful at work where people try to convince me that I am naive and too optimistic; I mean honestly, what better moment to whip out a pair of rose-coloured glasses

61. Did you notice that 16 was done twice? Ooops. I think I stopped there one day when I was writing this and then picked it up. It actually took a reasonable amount of self-persuasion to even keep writing this.

62. It’s okay though, I skipped 38 to make up for it when I realised. I like fairness, remember?

63. I sometimes wonder what sort of person I will be when I am 63; whether I’m still alive, what is important to me… just who I am.

64. To finish, in the spirit of games, clues, songs and whatnot, here is a challenge: there are 16 songs embedded in the above points. By embedded, I mean either direct quotations, or integrated into a sentence. See if you can find them all

life, the letter

Last Friday evening, I had my first real camping experience. Competition to that title could include ye olde camps that placed me in cabins, and warm nights spent out in my backyard as a child. In all honesty, I hardly think there’s any competition: this was by far and large the winner.

We headed out past Kurrajong, to a place far far away from civilization - no phone reception, no power, no lights. Or so we thought. A number of other camping groups also decided that it was a good place to camp out, and I counted no less than 12 4WDs out there. I really don’t mind sharing space - nature is free to enjoy for all.. but was surprised with how much light and noise some of the other campers generated. If they wanted a portable toilet with flood lights so much, did they really want to escape the city? At one point, I lay back and closed my eyes, contemplating that perhaps wherever I went, the world would follow, dragging the oft-onerous rigours of life and technology with it. Maybe there really was no escape. Maybe this was as far as I could get.

It was about that point that I opened my eyes, and gazed forth into one of the brightest night skies I’d ever witnessed. It’d even give the experience down in Bairnsdale a challenge.

Stars.

Stars everywhere.

More stars that I could conveniently count. Believe me; I tried. Once I ran out of fingers on one hand, I realised I had best stop otherwise my head would hurt. My standard night sky is an inky darkness; cloud cover mixed with pollution, glowing from the bright city lights. In drinking in the sight before my eyes, I realised just how sheltered some aspects of my life had been. A born city-slicker, I’ve never known anything different. I so wish I had though.

That night was my first actually under the stars. It was only a short hour or so till some vagrant clouds decided to churlishly interrupt my view of them - I know; the nerve! Part of me felt it was the cue for sleep and the end to a long and exhausting week. Part of me wondered how easily I’d actually get to sleep, without all the standard creature comforts. Part of me reminded the other part that I had slept in odd situations before. Another part of me told all the other parts to shutup and all this thinking would make it harder. So, I attempted to empty my thoughts, and found myself imbued by the soothing calmness of the nearby dying fire. Whilst the tendrils of smoke barely escaped arm reach (which admittedly, is no small margin), it’s unwavering aroma had by now richly infused my clothes and provided me with a comforting warmth. Sleep it seemed was but a short step away, its yearning voice called me quickly and drew me in. My dreams were peaceful; unsurprising considering I was surrounded by relatively serene environment and intoxicated with the fire’s tantalizing magic. Camp fires are definitely one of my favourite smells; if I could bottle it, I would. The jacket I wore with me still has a lingering scent that I am reluctant to do anything hygienic about… perhaps there’s a way to use it.

The morning was refreshingly chilled. We were up early and made a highly healthy breakfast over the fire; french toast, meat patties and bacon.. it actually all turned out really well, credit to all the guys involved really. Unfortunately, attempts at being Aussie in making billy tea failed dismally; after a patient half hour of tending the tin, gently nurturing the water till it finally began to bubble with excitement, the following exchange was witnessed between one who wanted tea, and one who watched one who wanted tea.
“I can’t wait to have a cuppa..”
“I just want to see what cup you’re going to put it in…”
Yes: we only had the foresight to bring plastic cups with us. Ooooops.

After lamenting the unused water, we cleaned up our gear and deassembled everything, attempting to return the site to the exact state it was in when we found it, ala leave no trace. The rest of the morning was spent following a mighty river - the  Little Wheeny River - okay, it is really about as mighty as it sounds. The trekking involved multiple crossings and many random spots which had unexpected depth. Although I didn’t wade through the water as most of the others did, I did enjoy getting wet as I attempted all river crossings in the form of a running jump. No actual successes, but I was close a few times! The water was pleasant and reasonably clean - very much unlike what I had seen in the past. Later on, I discovered my experiences in the water had encouraged a new friend of the leech variety to make a home in one of my socks - thankfully no blood was donated in this new relationship of ours. With a little bit of coaxing, the leech decided that the ground was a more preferable location to spend its time. Too quickly though, we were in our cars and on the way back home with a head full of thoughts to ponder. Hopefully Josh enjoyed his bucks’ night

So, camping - I very much enjoyed even though it was really only one night, and there are plenty of aspects of it I know I didn’t get to experience… so am now looking forward to the next time. Any takers?

camping, josh and binh, kurrajong, life, stars, tea

Today, reports of Atlantis flitted across my table. With the launch of an Ocean in Google Earth, searching beneath the ocean has never been easier. How exciting to have this opportunity! The fact that oceans cover nearly three quarters of the entire globe, yet we know so little about what is actually down there is.. intriguing. A lot of it is well over 3km deep… there is a lot that can fit down there. Like the infamous colossal squid, which we still know… so little about. Except that it is not terribly small.

Generally, when comparing large objects, the usual denominators are simple: how does it compare to a London bus? How about a sperm whale? Well, here we go:

So the colossal squid dwarfs all else. Well, not all else, but everything in our sample space. Mind you, they apparently first proved the existence of colossal squids by discovering the tentacles of one, in the stomach of a sperm whale, so perhaps being so big isn’t so wonderful.

Usually, if you put squid and stomach in the same sentence, I think of something more like…

.. which got me thinking. Your average serving of salt and pepper calamari has about 125 grams of actual squid, which will generally take me about 12 minutes to consume.

The colossal squid that was snagged last year, weighed in at nearly 500 kg. So if my job was to eat the colossal squid; i.e. I ate for 8 hours a day, it would take me a 100 days to eat the entire thing. I just hope Burnsie is cooking it… with that amount of eating, I wouldn’t want to get bored.

All in all though, it is an amazing creature. Tentacles are laced with more than your average suckers; hooks of a varying nature also adorn the limbs. Scientists use that sort of information as evidence to support the idea that it is an aggressive creature, but really, there’s no way to know. The eye of the colossal squid is the largest eye we’ve ever encountered - my my what large eyes you have… So we’re still discovering new things about the world we live in…which I find incredible. God made it so rich and abundant of life and variety that the depths of our oceans sometimes feel as mysterious as the outer reaches of the universe. I hope one day I can be so fortunate to be making discoveries about one or the other. Maybe I’ll drill 20,000 leagues below the sea and find chocolate!

For now though, I’ll be content with the discovery (thanks to Kellie and Woody) of a new friend - Banjo. A beautiful fighting fish (betta), he enjoys fervent swimming at dinner time, docile snoozing in the afternoons, and making pouting faces at the Bart Simpson figurine on top of his tank. I wish my camera was able to take a photo of him that actually did him some creative justice as he is quite the poser. The fins, almost gossamer in nature, shimmer with a back light; he seems to have understood this and appeared to quite enjoy dancing in front of it. I am beginning to recognise a personality as well, which is an exciting thing to witness develop. Clearly, size does not matter when it comes to appreciating the wonderful things in the world around us. Banjo so far has not expressed displeasure at my singing either, so as far as friends go, he is definitely doing well

So, the next time you are over at my place, please do ask to say hello to Banjo, he definitely has enjoyed meeting new people, being the social butterfly fish and all.

atlantis, calamari, colossal squid, google earth, google ocean, life, nature, news, unusual

Colours thrown quickly, grace these walls

The artists are, but a few small squalls

Lines drawn purposefully, across crimson bricks

Slowly begin to wonder, if my mind’s playing tricks

There’s a figure vague, amidst the hue

A moving leg, a yearning arm or two

Why are they there? I should know

They shimmer briefly and brightly glow

I wish I could, just discern the face

Is it from some time ago, or a faraway place?

It’d help bring to mind, an important name

Rather than, these figures of fame

I ask you though, know what would help?

If throwing paint, made someone yelp

By a voice, surely I’d figure it out

Who’s the one, that’s hiding about

It’d be too easy though, to hear a sound

To simply drop, my ear to the ground

So I stand tall, and gaze abroad

Why in the world, did I choose to hoard?

It leaves me feeling, heartily confused

Clutching so much, thoroughly abused

Yet none the wiser, what lies in the paint

Inhaling the fumes, makes me want to faint

So give to me, that bracing brisk squall

That first daintily doted, upon my young wall

life, paint