Fradam

The eagerly anticipated wedding of Megan & Josh took place a short while back (yes, this is the Josh of paintball fame) in the beautiful Chinese Gardens of Friendship in Darling Harbour.

The weather of the past week reminded me of the weather in the days leading up the wedding: it was quite wet. Not quite as wet as losing-parts-of-the-road, but it was pretty wet. Amazingly, the Saturday turned out spectacular:

This is the first Western wedding I’ve been at where I’ve been rather conscious of what was going on around me, and details were being soaked up at every turn. From the first step to the first dance, it seemed like the entire day was just one event to the next.

The bridal party looked gorgeous with Megan leading the way. Josh betrayed none of the warfare from the previous week in his tuxedo, looking very smart. Apparently he had spent the morning preparing for the wedding by watching Terminator 2 (!)… However, he was a figure of calm repose there that afternoon. Along with the others in the party, it was quite the good looking group of people.

The ceremony was beautiful. Ted Paull of Macquarie led, and chose some very relevant verses to speak upon. What was perhaps even more compelling was what Megan and Josh had to say — both in terms of the verses they had selected which they personally found touched their wedding, and the vows they had written. Quite the teary affair :’(

Josephine had tied ribbons to go around little bottles of bubbly champagne bottles, and as the ceremony was sealed with a kiss (although when that was meant to occur, appeared to be a cause for some confusion), the air was littered with bubbles floating everywhere! Definitely added to the somewhat magical atmosphere, and was complemented nicely by the three-piece string trio who had been working the crowd earlier in the afternoon.

All in all, it was quite the splendid wedding — and this was only added to by the experience of being able to serve as an usher too! Woohoo for some responsibility.

It didn’t stop there either, as I was given the privilege of serving in the reception as the MC (!). Whoa It was a little overwhelming at first, but such an awesome honour to have — to be the second person in the world (after Ted), to officially announce them as Mr and Mrs Josh and Megan Storer.

The reception seemed to vanish in a blur; between the meal and speeches and dancing… I don’t know where it all went! I know I was talking at one point, and that I heard some touching speeches at others. Dave, the best man, possibly had one of the funniest stories to share — which could make you question whether Josh should be marrying Megan or Dave Josh made the right choice though, and I couldn’t be happier for either of them!

Congratulations to you both

UPDATED 19/5: See below #10!

My friend Josh recently held a bucks party at Action Paintball, one of the larger paintball fields in the Rouse Hill area. With only one prior paintball experience under my belt, I was keen to see if the experience would be any different… and with a buck on the loose, it would be likely that a slow + large target like myself would not be the main target, especially with Josh’s target sign. Yes, that lovely lady is his bride to be, whom he would have to defend for the day.

On one particular map, where I essentially had to stay alive to win (i.e. was quite hidden and keeping a wary eye out for those who hunted me), it occurred to me that one of lifes many mysteries suddenly lay bare and solved for me (and hence, the rest of the world), to see: Paintball really is a lot better than watching paint dry. Here’s why:

1. Accoutrement: people don’t usually dress up to watch paint dry.

2. Creativity: in paintball, there is some leeway for expression; you can paint people, trees and other random objects with a myriad of colours. Watching the paint dry presents little to no opportunity to engage in such artistry.

3. Physical health: the fumes of paint can cause greater problems (headaches, nausea, dizziness, and fatigue) than paintball (red welts)

4. Patience: waiting for an expected opponent to come by a well-laid trap is a greater test of patience than watching paint dry.

5. Pragmatism: paintball can teach the realities of life (e.g. people who shoot you in the head once may well shoot you six more times before they realise! *cough* Scotty *cough*) in a far more effective way than watching paint dry (e.g. that paint dries) can.

6. Ocular benefits: watching paint dry can cause eye strain, whereas in paintball, your eyes are well protected.

7. Independence: whilst watching the paint dry will inevitably cause your demise via the aforementioned health effects (see #3), paintball grants you the power to be the master of your own destiny, i.e. kill or be killed.

8. Survival of your progeny: whilst no published studies have been undertaken, watching the paint dry whilst pregnant could cause malformations or miscarriage, whereas with
standard precautions paintball is a much better route to a happy and healthy child.

9. Economic: professional paintball can pay better than watching paint dry.

10. Fun: the last albeit most important one, yet is also the most subjective one! Having experimented with both, I found paintball better for fun purposes than watching paint dry. I will be willing to concede others may disagree.

UPDATED 19/5: I was granted permission to mention another reason that I was going to have on this list:

11. Love: Whilst watching paint dry may not present the greatest opportunity for a casual affection to develop into more, something about fighting shoulder-to-shoulder with another seems to bring people together, such that one of our participants *cough* Andi *cough* ended up spending most of his day chatting up a girl who chose to celebrate her 21st there! Who knows what future opportunities may bring

So, there you have it, 10 11 simple reasons why paintball is better than watching paint dry. Tune in next week when we look at more of lifes mysteries, like why apples really are better than oranges.