Fradam

It was a scorching morning. The mercury exceeded 40 in some parts of Sydney, and the prospect of a beach wedding in the afternoon seemed quite appealing providing there’d be a swim involved. I contemplated bringing an umbrella along to shield me from the sun. However, soaring temperatures are generally chased by storms, and yesterday’s wild weather was no different…

A memorable wedding. That is what David and Ula’s wedding will forever remain to me. It wasn’t that it rained. It was how it rained. The first drops landed as Ula first came into sight of the ceremony. A thunderclap signaled her first step onto the aisle. By the time she took her place, the little ceremony was awash with water. Words were indistinct from that point onward; Hannah, Tara, Claire and I huddled under a tiny umbrella and deduced the order of the ceremony by watching where the microphone went. It was possibly the shortest ceremony in history - topped only by Spaceball’s “short short version”; the celebrant was somewhat aware that the crowd was getting soaked. The key words did ring out however - “I now pronounce you..”. I wish I got to hear their vows though.. sniff.

Hannah, Claire and I went back to Claire’s place to dry off a little before the reception. Apparently the rain cloud had been centralised to the ceremony; two suburbs over was reasonably dry. Almost like Claire for the reception: she had a whole new outfit! Hannah blow-dried a lot of herself off. I tipped out the puddles that had formed in my shoes, and proceeded to blow-dry my socks and shoes for the next 20 minutes. After watching this process, Claire suggested borrowing a pair of her dad’s socks. Hannah followed this up by suggesting putting them in the dryer for a while. Sigh, why do all the best ideas come after my patient blow-dryer efforts! Thanks to Hannah for the photo:

The reception was close to home; North Curl Curl SLSC. Many memories of that beach.. and it was all round an awesome night. The speeches hit interesting notes - the father of the bride at one point questioning if the couple had done the right thing in deciding to get married, David speaking Polish and of course, a reference to that infamous party at Lena’s. So incredible seeing how far we’ve all come as people who were once little people.

All in all, a wonderful evening was had. I truly love weddings, and the fact that it rained in this one only served to highlight it in my memory of great moments of life. Yey for love!

I saw Pursuit of Happyness last night, a movie which has interested me and bugged me at the same time. Interested as the pursuit (and attainment) of being happy is one greatly aligned with my life. Bugged because that spelling is a bit jarring.

So, witnessing Will Smith’s character, Chris Gardner, taking the time to point out the bad spelling within the first few minutes of the film was definitely a great way to begin it. Witnessing the hardships of Chris as he struggled to make ends meet and find a place for his son to lay his head at night, was not as easy. In some ways, it was shocking to see an individual placed in a position he could not control, and to contemplate that life could deal anyone a similar hand. However in other ways, it was also inspiring to see that struggle resolved in a positive fashion, one that does brand hope in my eyes.

Sure — it is Hollywood — some of these events took place across a period of time etc. But the biggest part of it, the parts that were real — the implacable determination to be there for his son, the indomitable will to succeed and an almost inexorable passion for doing what he wanted and not being held back. Perhaps it is this fiery intensity that at times scared me the most about Will’s portrayal of Chris, to see what an individual would do to see his dream realised.

How many people have that kind of fervor for their goals? I’d say many people at times, have that passion… just often, those times don’t align with times they can act upon them. But how many people have the gifts he had — the fine-tuned mind for numbers and his speedsolving with a Rubix cube garnered attention from the people who had the power to grant him what he wanted. Call me crazy, but I think everyone’s got a talent somewhere. It might not make a movie, but it’s there, whether we call it that or not.

I thought Jaden Christopher Syre Smith (above) was awesome. Adorable, yet, such an amazing performance. He may well challenge Bindi for the “8 year old entertainer’s awards” with his portrayal of Chris’ son.

It was great that the real Chris Gardner had a cameo in the film; a bit reminiscent of the recent Starsky and Hutch remake, when the older and newer duos met.

All in all, a good film it was, with a fresh bite of what reality can be like at times. It’s not really a tear-jerker, but can be a little shocking in some parts. There are inspirational moments, but perhaps the fact that most of these events really happened to someone, is what hits home the most.

If there’s one thing to take away from the film, it should be this:

You got a dream, you gotta protect it. People can’t do something themselves, they wanna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something? Go get it. Period.

Go watch it

Someone wise once said the grass is always greener on the other side, and whilst listening to one of my favourite older songs — Nik Kershaw’s Wouldn’t it be good, it really hit home just how wrong that could be.

The song addresses the idea of wondering what lies over someone else’s fence — Wouldn’t it be good to be in your shoes? The common concept of “wishing you were in someone else’s shoes” is answered emphatically in the negatory. The idea being, whilst surely, there are individuals whom we aspire to share moccasins with, do we really know everything that goes on in their life? How truly can you know the life of another, and fully understand the problems they face?

All we can do is look at how our life would fare, if placed within a certain circumstance. True enough, there is a Simpsons quote to sum up some of this:

Lisa: It’s horrible being young, nobody listens to me.
Grandpa: It’s rotten being old, nobody listens to me.
Homer: I’m an average white male aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!

I remember being younger and wishing I never grew up. However, I also remember many peers wished they could be older so that they could do all the things that adults did — namely, partying, drinking, working etc. Yet just today at work, two of my colleagues referenced their age, citing they wished they were younger for improved fitness and better memory. Does anyone really know what they want? Young people wishing they were older. Older people wishing they were younger.

As a student, I wished I had graduated so that I didn’t have to do assignments and study for exams, and had the freedom and money to go out and spend time with friends. As a member of the working class, I wish I had the 3 month summer break of a student, and the opportunities to see and meet more people than ever. Do I really know what I want? Wishing I was as free as an employee when busy as a student, wishing I was free as a student when busy as an employee. Interestingly enough, thinking about being a student also helps remind me of the good of the current situation… and in retrospect, thinking about being an employee would have helped me get through as a student, as it would have also reminded me of the good of being in that environment. But, how did we even get this way?

Being discontent with life seems to always lead down this path — the path of looking at another path and wishing it were your own. The logical solution would be to ‘be content’, to find satisfaction with what we have and let that be that. But that squashes dreams, it inhibits ambition and creates a ceiling that can be difficult to pierce. Somehow, a balance between our desire to do great things with our life, and satisfaction with life’s circumstances, must be reached. That way, our dreams can be realised, and at the same time, we aren’t stuck wishing we were in another person’s shoes.

Finding such a line could consume a life, so in the meantime, it may be worthwhile just to remember two things:

1. If you forget what is good about your current situation, just begin thinking about what situation you want to be in. Then… in that thinking… you’ll be discontent with something — something that was good in your original situation. There you have it! Something good about your current circumstance

2. We never really know what is going on in another person’s life. Nik Kershaw describes it in his song as follows:

You must be joking
You don’t know a thing about it
You’ve got no problem
I’d stay right there if it were you
I got it harder
You couldn’t dream how hard it got it
Stay out of my shoes
If you know what’s good for you
The heat is stifling
Burning me up from the inside
The sweat is coming through each and every pore
Don’t wanna be here no more

We just don’t know sometimes. Maybe that wise guy got it wrong… maybe the saying should go, The grass is always greener… on our side. At least we know what is going on in our life

Well, first of all, Happy New Year everyone, hope you had a safe fun time A small BBQ gathering was held at Casa de Frads, with a few games of Articulate until the fireworks rolled around, none of which my team won.. but there is always next time! The Sydney fireworks, as always was a good show, with some 5-6 different set of fireworks visible from our balcony. All in all, it was a good evening, which it seemed everyone enjoyed, and provided some opportunity for contemplation concerning the year to come.

The ushering in of a new year is often fraught with desires for change, changing, changes, etc. I like it just for that breath of fresh air, that coolness in the wind. It is akin to those drops of water just after rain, which funnily enough was exactly how New Years Day was looking in 2007: a day just after rain.

I’m not entirely sure what this year will hold as so much looks like it will change at the drop of a hat… like that drop of water, just ready to fall. Perhaps it is more like Dr Ian Malcolm’s speech on Chaos Theory (Jurassic Park, 1993), where he describes how a single drop of water can go in different directions:

It changed. Why? … Because and here is the principle of tiny variations - the orientations of the hairs on your hand, the amount of blood distending in your vessels, imperfections in the skin — microscopic — never repeat, and vastly affect the outcome.

It appears life itself mirrors the drop: so many tiny variations can occur in the next day, the next week, the next month, leading to very much different lives. Only time can tell which way the drop goes, but I remain ever hopeful that it will be for the best — happiness often only comes when you want it to come, after all.

Photo courtesy of Kellie - thanks

As mentioned earlier, I am trying to record things that are on my mind, and what is important to me at this stage of my life. Ranking right up there, is the idea of happiness; the people around me being happy, and me in turn being happy also. So, what follows is a piece of my brain, kinda speaking to itself. Feel free to listen though, might learn something useful!

There are two things that people generally observe about me when meeting me.

1. I am tall.

2. I am smiling.

I smile because I’m happy (extra smiley faces added for dramatic effect). Why is the man in this picture smiling? Because he’s happy! Okay, so we’ve established that happiness is an important part of my life… but where does it originate?

In the people around me. It is an indelible fact that non-hermits are influenced by the world around us. Possibly hermits too in fact, but I haven’t undertaken any scientific research to test that theory yet. As we are all influenced by the events in the world around us, so, the happiness around us can in fact rouse similar emotions within us. So, I draw my happiness from those around me… it’s a pretty neat trick isn’t it? Not really — you probably do it too already. If you’ve got a friend who’s happy about something, you tend to feel a bit happier for them, right?
It is this principle which guides many if not most actions I take in life. The extent to which I influence others in their pursuit of happiness is contingent on the happiness I exude. Or to put it more succinctly: if I’m happy, those around me can be encouraged to be happy too.

This sounds all great in theory, but what about practice? If I was constantly happy, you might call me any/all of the following: delusional, insane, raving mad, nutty, senseless etc. No, it is a little something else… it is not quite consensus reality, but it is close. It is simply, optimism. Being hopeful, and looking for the bright side of the road. It is not about being silly, but about practical, realistic, optimism. It is possible, trust me!

So, if you’re still with me to this point, here is what we have established:

1. I am tall.

2. I am smiling.

3. My smiling is caused by happiness which is reflected off those around me and is in turn partially dependant upon the happiness that I emanate.

4. I am not insane.

Okay, that last bit might be a bit to swallow. But if we’re simply positive about the world, and optimistic about what the next day might bring, do we really know what we can do?

A classic example is public transport. I’m not sure how often we really think about it, but the drivers in our transport system can be quite pushed at times. They cop the flack of late night drunkards, have to try to be civil when on the job and generally don’t get much recognition from the people they see the most: their passengers. I make an effort as I disembark to thank the driver, and as I often use the rear exit, and am not soft-spoken, the words are reasonably audible to most people in the bus and surrounding suburbs. Nearly every time, it sparks a chain-reaction of many commuters suddenly remembering their manners and choosing to thank the driver.

What we have now is a happy driver who will go along their next bus route, all happy and cheery at the chorus of gratitude that was received at the close of their previous route. And then what? Just by their nature of being happy, they in turn affect their passengers who get on, with a friendly attitude and a smiling face. Bang, a chain reaction has been caused.

It is honestly that simple. If we look at the brighter side of the road, and remain optimistic, we are given real opportunity to affect the world around us, and in turn, feel happy at what we’ve done.

To close, I might just cite another example. A colleague at work the other day was not at his cheeriest best, and I was being optimistic about the situation. He admitted later, he was almost irritated at my attitude, but in a few days time, was feeling optimistic as well, saying “If you can’t beat em, join em!”

So, there you have it, the challenge is to go out and spread the happiness. Be optimistic in life, share your enthusiasm for the bright side of the road, and in turn, you can make a real difference in some lives. Sound a bit cliched? Not cliched enough? Well, take a look at this motivational image then!

Reach for the sky! … now that is cliched

But being happy/optimistic, never will be.