Fradam

UPDATED 19/5: See below #10!

My friend Josh recently held a bucks party at Action Paintball, one of the larger paintball fields in the Rouse Hill area. With only one prior paintball experience under my belt, I was keen to see if the experience would be any different… and with a buck on the loose, it would be likely that a slow + large target like myself would not be the main target, especially with Josh’s target sign. Yes, that lovely lady is his bride to be, whom he would have to defend for the day.

On one particular map, where I essentially had to stay alive to win (i.e. was quite hidden and keeping a wary eye out for those who hunted me), it occurred to me that one of lifes many mysteries suddenly lay bare and solved for me (and hence, the rest of the world), to see: Paintball really is a lot better than watching paint dry. Here’s why:

1. Accoutrement: people don’t usually dress up to watch paint dry.

2. Creativity: in paintball, there is some leeway for expression; you can paint people, trees and other random objects with a myriad of colours. Watching the paint dry presents little to no opportunity to engage in such artistry.

3. Physical health: the fumes of paint can cause greater problems (headaches, nausea, dizziness, and fatigue) than paintball (red welts)

4. Patience: waiting for an expected opponent to come by a well-laid trap is a greater test of patience than watching paint dry.

5. Pragmatism: paintball can teach the realities of life (e.g. people who shoot you in the head once may well shoot you six more times before they realise! *cough* Scotty *cough*) in a far more effective way than watching paint dry (e.g. that paint dries) can.

6. Ocular benefits: watching paint dry can cause eye strain, whereas in paintball, your eyes are well protected.

7. Independence: whilst watching the paint dry will inevitably cause your demise via the aforementioned health effects (see #3), paintball grants you the power to be the master of your own destiny, i.e. kill or be killed.

8. Survival of your progeny: whilst no published studies have been undertaken, watching the paint dry whilst pregnant could cause malformations or miscarriage, whereas with
standard precautions paintball is a much better route to a happy and healthy child.

9. Economic: professional paintball can pay better than watching paint dry.

10. Fun: the last albeit most important one, yet is also the most subjective one! Having experimented with both, I found paintball better for fun purposes than watching paint dry. I will be willing to concede others may disagree.

UPDATED 19/5: I was granted permission to mention another reason that I was going to have on this list:

11. Love: Whilst watching paint dry may not present the greatest opportunity for a casual affection to develop into more, something about fighting shoulder-to-shoulder with another seems to bring people together, such that one of our participants *cough* Andi *cough* ended up spending most of his day chatting up a girl who chose to celebrate her 21st there! Who knows what future opportunities may bring

So, there you have it, 10 11 simple reasons why paintball is better than watching paint dry. Tune in next week when we look at more of lifes mysteries, like why apples really are better than oranges.

Well, first of all, Happy New Year everyone, hope you had a safe fun time A small BBQ gathering was held at Casa de Frads, with a few games of Articulate until the fireworks rolled around, none of which my team won.. but there is always next time! The Sydney fireworks, as always was a good show, with some 5-6 different set of fireworks visible from our balcony. All in all, it was a good evening, which it seemed everyone enjoyed, and provided some opportunity for contemplation concerning the year to come.

The ushering in of a new year is often fraught with desires for change, changing, changes, etc. I like it just for that breath of fresh air, that coolness in the wind. It is akin to those drops of water just after rain, which funnily enough was exactly how New Years Day was looking in 2007: a day just after rain.

I’m not entirely sure what this year will hold as so much looks like it will change at the drop of a hat… like that drop of water, just ready to fall. Perhaps it is more like Dr Ian Malcolm’s speech on Chaos Theory (Jurassic Park, 1993), where he describes how a single drop of water can go in different directions:

It changed. Why? … Because and here is the principle of tiny variations - the orientations of the hairs on your hand, the amount of blood distending in your vessels, imperfections in the skin — microscopic — never repeat, and vastly affect the outcome.

It appears life itself mirrors the drop: so many tiny variations can occur in the next day, the next week, the next month, leading to very much different lives. Only time can tell which way the drop goes, but I remain ever hopeful that it will be for the best — happiness often only comes when you want it to come, after all.

Photo courtesy of Kellie - thanks