The grass is always greener…
Someone wise once said the grass is always greener on the other side, and whilst listening to one of my favourite older songs — Nik Kershaw’s Wouldn’t it be good, it really hit home just how wrong that could be.
The song addresses the idea of wondering what lies over someone else’s fence — Wouldn’t it be good to be in your shoes? The common concept of “wishing you were in someone else’s shoes” is answered emphatically in the negatory. The idea being, whilst surely, there are individuals whom we aspire to share moccasins with, do we really know everything that goes on in their life? How truly can you know the life of another, and fully understand the problems they face?
All we can do is look at how our life would fare, if placed within a certain circumstance. True enough, there is a Simpsons quote to sum up some of this:
Lisa: It’s horrible being young, nobody listens to me.
Grandpa: It’s rotten being old, nobody listens to me.
Homer: I’m an average white male aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are!
I remember being younger and wishing I never grew up. However, I also remember many peers wished they could be older so that they could do all the things that adults did — namely, partying, drinking, working etc. Yet just today at work, two of my colleagues referenced their age, citing they wished they were younger for improved fitness and better memory. Does anyone really know what they want? Young people wishing they were older. Older people wishing they were younger.
As a student, I wished I had graduated so that I didn’t have to do assignments and study for exams, and had the freedom and money to go out and spend time with friends. As a member of the working class, I wish I had the 3 month summer break of a student, and the opportunities to see and meet more people than ever. Do I really know what I want? 
Wishing I was as free as an employee when busy as a student, wishing I was free as a student when busy as an employee. Interestingly enough, thinking about being a student also helps remind me of the good of the current situation… and in retrospect, thinking about being an employee would have helped me get through as a student, as it would have also reminded me of the good of being in that environment. But, how did we even get this way?
Being discontent with life seems to always lead down this path — the path of looking at another path and wishing it were your own. The logical solution would be to ‘be content’, to find satisfaction with what we have and let that be that. But that squashes dreams, it inhibits ambition and creates a ceiling that can be difficult to pierce. Somehow, a balance between our desire to do great things with our life, and satisfaction with life’s circumstances, must be reached. That way, our dreams can be realised, and at the same time, we aren’t stuck wishing we were in another person’s shoes.
Finding such a line could consume a life, so in the meantime, it may be worthwhile just to remember two things:
1. If you forget what is good about your current situation, just begin thinking about what situation you want to be in. Then… in that thinking… you’ll be discontent with something — something that was good in your original situation. There you have it! Something good about your current circumstance
2. We never really know what is going on in another person’s life. Nik Kershaw describes it in his song as follows:
You must be joking
You don’t know a thing about it
You’ve got no problem
I’d stay right there if it were you
I got it harder
You couldn’t dream how hard it got it
Stay out of my shoes
If you know what’s good for you
The heat is stifling
Burning me up from the inside
The sweat is coming through each and every pore
Don’t wanna be here no more
We just don’t know sometimes. Maybe that wise guy got it wrong… maybe the saying should go, The grass is always greener… on our side. At least we know what is going on in our life
happiness, music, nik kershaw, philosophy, simpsons Find similar posts: philosophy
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January 17th, 2007 at 12:05 am
I’ll trade my grass for yours any day lol
January 17th, 2007 at 12:14 pm
You’ve got to aaaaaaaaaccentuate the positive
Eeeeeeeeeeliminate the negative
Laaaaaaaaaaatch on to the affirmative
Don’t mess with Mister In-Between
;D
Wise words mr Fradam ;D
January 17th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
I kinda like this song in relation to the “greener grass” theory…
Artist/Band: Walker Clay
Lyrics for Song: Then What
Lyrics for Album: Rumor Has It
Well I got a good friend who’s got a good life
He’s got two pretty children and a real nice wife
But he never seems quite satisfied
I said I know what’s on your mind
But you better think about it before you cross that line
The grass aint always greener on the other side
Then what, what you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
And it aint really love and it aint really lust
You aint anybody anyone’s gonna trust
Then what, where you gonna turn
When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn
And fate can’t wait to kick you in the butt
Then what
Well I aint saying that looking’s a crime
Well I’ve done my share from time to time
It dont mean that you gotta take that leap
When you’re standin’ on the brink
Before you jump you gotta step back and think
There’s price for ever promise you dont keep
Then what, what you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
And it aint really love and it aint really lust
You aint anybody anyone’s gonna trust
Then what, where you gonna turn
When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn
And fate can’t wait to kick you in the butt
Then what
Do want you want, do want you wish
It’s your life but remember this
There’s bound to be some consequences
Sneaking under other fences
Then what, what you gonna do
When the new wears off and the old shines through
And it aint really love and it aint really lust
You aint anybody anyone’s gonna trust
Then what, where you gonna turn
When you cant turn back for the bridges you burn
And fate can’t wait to kick you in the butt
Then what
January 17th, 2007 at 2:09 pm
You deserve kisses.
*goes to find a silver platter*
January 17th, 2007 at 8:39 pm
Yarrrrr?!
Wish I could articulate my thoughts into such a well written piece… I have this uncanny ability to mind spam =P
January 17th, 2007 at 11:23 pm
@Eeeegor: Too right! Accentuate that positive!
@Khan: Spot on, seems like that song describes similar to my one this idea that sometimes its best not to get lost wishing you had someone else’s shoes.
January 18th, 2007 at 2:21 am
what the heck? now I am not even worth a comment?
stop being so happy
if you gonna blog, pls be dark and sad, no use otherwise
January 18th, 2007 at 7:05 am
lol @ Kristel :p Well I wasn’t quite sure if you were being serious or not — I mean, would you really want to swap grass? I’m not convinced your fiancee and I would be as in love as you two are… and I’m not sure how keen you are on being a developer! ;p
January 18th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
Now, I always thought the whole concept of ‘putting yourself in someone elses shoes’ was always to see the downside. Like, you might be sitting there thinking the winner of Australian idol (gimme a break I just watched American Dreamz) has it good, but then you have to put yourself in their shoes and realise that they’re worked off their feet, probly not singing to the best of their potential and are now in a lock in contract with the associated label for the next 5 years recording songs they dont necesarily make the creative decisions on. Wow. Long example.
Point being that the grass is always greener on the other side, but put yourself in the neighbours shoes; they have to mow it.
January 18th, 2007 at 10:49 pm
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!
January 19th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
wow, that was deep.
my thoughts:
when i was younger, i wanted to be older. when i was 16, i was truly happy. i wanted to be right where i was in life, and stay there. when i turned 18, i wondered what all the fuss was about. it didnt seem like that big of a milestone for me. (i mean, sure im legal now, but what difference does that really make? gives me more freedom sure, but does that really matter in the scheme of things?) now that im almost 19, i keep thinking, “oh my gosh, im going to be 20 soon! AAAARRRGH!!!” i feel so old, like my teenage years are almost over. and it makes me think, what have i done in my teenage years? in retrospect however, i think i have accomplished quite alot. and i wouldnt change my life for anything. im pretty healthy, im incredibly happy, i have fantastic friends and a great social life. i have found what i want to do with the rest of my life, and look forward to travelling this year.
BUT my point is, if people are really where they want to be in life, why worry about the greener grass? im all for trying to see things from someone else’s point of view, but in the end, we can only ever really make decisions based on what is in front of us, and who we are and what effects us.
SO im more than happy to keep standing on my patch of grass, even if we do have water restrictions!
keep smilin’ fradam! love ya lots and chuck norris rocks.
xo
~b
January 20th, 2007 at 10:18 am
Hmm hit the spot once again Fradam. When I lived at home, all I wanted was freedom to do as I please without criticism that was neither constructive nor kindly meant. I felt I would go through any means to discover that end. I did and have, and now I miss my coddled, easy life, where my household chore of washing up was a hassle.
But despite not wanting to exchange lives with someone , one does sometimes feel envious or satisfied when looking over aspects of another person’s life. thats normal isnt it? but if you were given the choice to exchange lives with anyone with whom you wished, would you actually do it? no one’s life is perfect.
January 20th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
@mle: I like your analogy; conveys a similar message in a different way. They probably have weeds and all manner of unmowable objects in their grass too… like large boulders, drum kits and gnomes.
@Woody: I’m not sure it’s the same one
@Brookie: Haha, it’s great life is going well for you, I guess you’re one of those lucky few who is walking that line of contentment and ambition, hope you can keep it up!
@Ari: I think thats the normal way of approaching things. The concept of a straight swap (as opposed to simply taking another’s lifestyle) reminds me of reality tv show a while back which swapped mothers from two different families around to see what would happen. I think the resulting chaos shows it can’t reaallly work
January 23rd, 2007 at 2:57 pm
Woodmaeng, khan what?
January 24th, 2007 at 12:31 am
You know what Adam…
Sometimes… the grass sucks on both sides.
February 2nd, 2007 at 3:51 am
marta I am with you
February 19th, 2007 at 6:38 pm
I just wish we were on the same grass.