Fradam

The other day, I purchased new laces for my old basketball shoes. The game on Sunday night felt a lot easier on my feet than games previously; my shoes were tighter, stronger, safer. I felt almost as if I had a new lease on my basketball life. Or at least that the life of my basketball shoes had been graciously extended a second life. Considering I’d been contemplating new shoes for some time, this was definitely a big saving too. So far, I’m 2/2 for basketball games since then too.

I wonder if it is possible to buy new laces for life.

Lately, the shoes have been looking a little worn out, and something new which would extend it’s life would certainly be welcomed.. but what?

I’ve heard that it is the bride’s perogative really, but clearly, Tom Hanks was having none of it. I am impressed!

I’ve just spent a sunny weekend up the coast, and whilst there, learnt a few random things about the land to the north.

• The speed limit for Learners is 110 km/h (in Sydney, it’s 80 km/h). It is debatable whether it is safer having 16 year olds doing 110km/h on a motorway, or having them driving at  80 km/h in the left lane (particularly in merging situations) is safer… but needless to say, discovering this on my last day certainly explained why so many cars were happy to sit right on my tail on the motorways. Good thing Queenslanders are renowned for being relaxed on the roads and all.
• You can’t do a U Turn at a set of lights, unless you see a specific sign indicating it is permitted. I’m sure it’s the other way round down here..
• This isn’t specific to Queensland, but I love Wikipedia to a fault - but need to be reminded every now and then to not simply believe everything I read there: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/07/wikipedia_jarre_hoax/
• It is possible to purchase adult cinema tickets, at full price, and be paying less than $8 - it wasn’t even tight Tuesday! Unheard of in Sydney.
• The expansion of the Gold Coast airport, in order to allow it to field more international flights, is in a southward direction, i.e. further into NSW. On my return back home, I drove from QLD, to NSW (entrance to airport), walked back to QLD (where the gate was), then flew across the border into NSW (in a plane!). All in the space of an hour or two. I consider myself now a seasoned traveller.

Keep your eyes peeled for more trivialities in my soon-to-be-published “Guide Book to QLD”.

I apologise for the scattered nature of this post, but there was something on my mind that needed to get out. I saw two different films yesterday. The first was the new X-Men movie – Wolverine. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I’ve been an X-Men aficionado since childhood, something about the idea of humans being more than they are has a curious appeal. Possibly because a strange part of me feels that I might just have superhumanly long arms or something. I’ve never been a comic book person – my knowledge of the characters stems from morning cartoons, so with those memories in mind, I can’t say the experience differed far from expectation. The storyline developed around his relationship with Sabretooth, the various betrayals and counter-betrayals seemed only appropriate considering the somewhat confused state we find Wolverine in, in the first X-Men movie. Getting to meet Gambit was certainly a treat, and I hope to learn more of his history in future films. What I supposed surprised me the most were the action scenes. Aside from a few cheesy/movie-cheating moments, lots of it was quite “cool” (as witnessing people with superhuman abilities can be), but… hang on, it was cool?

I realise it’s just a movie. And movies aren’t real.

But when did scenes of violence, become cool? When did I become so desensitized that it didn’t affect me? What’s curious is that very concept was a storyline element in the film itself (Wolverine’s character developing a conscience and distaste for rampant destruction of life)… yet here I was, a viewer, who had the same issue. I know there are some films I’ve seen, which cross my own line. But the sheer majority of them, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid to the levels of violence depicted within. I feel guilt when considering this. Reflecting upon this makes me think about the films where they create animals out of humans by subjecting them to inordinate amounts of violent media; the theory being that what you put in, is what you get out. That principle does hold true for a lot of things, I can appreciate that… but I hope that all the violent films I watched growing up, hasn’t left me as some sort of raging beast, waiting to be let loose. I don’t dream of things like that, so I suppose that must be a good sign… i.e. the next time you see me, I don’t think you need to run.

The other film I saw yesterday was a video of my cousin’s visit to Australia back in 1997. My family took lots of photos of us growing up, but we couldn’t afford video. This was the first time I’d seen the younger version of myself moving around; talking and interacting with other people. The games we played. The things we laughed about. Aside from realising that my father could pass for an Indian film star, one of the things that stood out to me was the amount of wrestling/jumping/squashing sort of games there were. Part of me thinks of that as just part of the natural growing up process. Part of me considers a voice heard in the background of one of these scenes – “Where did they get so violent?” Thinking about that saddens me, as it’s a part of my childhood that obviously I’m not quite as proud of. I don’t recall being violent outside of the sibling rumble/tumble, so perhaps it’s not something I should worry myself over. I mean, we all went through that, right? That’s what I’m telling myself at the moment.

Perhaps what should worry me is the other side of the coin. What of apathy at the plight of reality for many, due to desensitisation from the media I’ve been exposed to? I realise we make decisions, on how we choose to respond to such stimulus, so don’t take this as blame-shifting. It’s not just the not-doing of things violent that concerns me, but the not-doing-anything-about of the violence in the world that concerns me. I want to respond.

Apathy does frighten me. I care… but am not always sure how to go about showing that.

     cant we        give ours          

  elves one more   chance why ca       

 t we give love that one more cha     

nce why cant we give love give lov   

e give love give love give love giv   

e love give love give love give cau     

se love’s such an old fashioned wor     

d and love dares you to care for t     

 he people on the edge of the nig      

  ht and love dares you to chan        

    ge our way of caring about          

      ourselves this is our l          

        ast dance this is o             

           ur last dance                

             this is o               

               ursel               

                ve                   

                s                     

That’s right; I’ve found the secret. After a (relatively short) lifetime of saying goodbye to friends (as much as you can do when you live in your home town for 20 or so years), and struggling terribly with it, I’ve made a discovery which will possibly shock the world. Or at least this part of my world. Or well.. at least, it shocked me. As most would know, I distance myself from change as quickly as a leaf-dependent sloth gets away from a lithe jaguar. i.e. I invariably get caught, but hopefully make a tasty morsel for the change agent. All that could change (!) now, and become a thing of the past. In the future, I might just become a sloth that consumes more than leaves, I could sup upon branches too, and we may find that the jaguar no longer finds me quite as an attractive prey.

It’s really quite simple too. What is it exactly that I fear? Saying goodbye. The thought that I might not see the person(s) again. The thought that the world will not be the same; specifically, that the world will be particularly less pleasant from someone’s absence. The key to conquering the fear: don’t think of it as a goodbye. Believe that the world will not be the same, but that you might see the person again, and that although it may feel less pleasant initially, in the long-run it could just turn out okay.

Yes, I am quite aware that many people have been telling me this for literally.. years. But why in the world would I listen to friends and family who were trying to help me cope with saying goodbye to people? That sounds like way too good of an idea.

So, you’re probably wondering, how did such a revelation as this, come to me? What happened, that this simple piece of wisdom that so many have tried to impart to me, finally broke through?

On Friday night, I went to a farewell party; a common scene that I often struggle with. This time, it was different. Although I was farewelling a friend, I knew I’d be seeing more of her once she left (as peculiar as that sounds)… so I was able to very easily rationalise that life was actually going to get better. It was easy to do it in this case, because there was a matter of 3 days involved; I could connect the dots from the sadness of separation to the joy of joining myself.

As I reflect upon periods of saying goodbye in my life, these same dots existed, but usually had weeks, months, or in some case, years, connecting them. In the moment, my vision would be limited; I couldn’t see that far… but in hindsight, it seemed to always work out for the best. Someone looking out for me?

Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m seeing my recently farewelled friend. Hurray

Thanks to Kevin Rudd’s desire to stimulate the economy, I now have some unexpected cash. It’s a strange position. I did nothing to earn it, yet it’s there. There’s actually a peculiar discomfort with it. I cannot quite articulate it properly, so I might just fumble around a little and try. It’s an undeserved gift, if you will.. sounds familiar in a way, except there was no opportunity to accept or decline the gift, it just appeared in my account yesterday.

Now the question is, what to do with it? I feel there’s a sense of responsibility associated with it. The government wants me to spend it to help our economy, but as I understand it, unless you’re buying from wholly Australian owned businesses, that money is going overseas. That means most of the suggestions people have given me (car, chocolate, electric blanket mobile, computer parts etc) won’t really meet the intended goal.

I sort of feel like I’ve won the lottery and that the money should be going to a cause, or to help a need that I know of, but being woefully socially ignorant as always, my mind is drawing blanks. How shameful right? I know there is a tonne of need around me - locally, globally, and in people closer to me… and here I am wondering what to do with the money the government has given me. Something feels so self-indulgently unwholesome about this position.

So, my question to anyone who happens to reading this… what are you doing with your stimulus package? Do you have any suggestions? Just to reiterate, yes, chocolate has been suggested many times, but I don’t think even I could justify that much of it unless it was going somewhere else. Hmmmm…

Last night, Kellie and I experienced Guy once more.. and whoa. The guy does not disappoint. He’s still the same kinda Guy he always was - ready to intersperse random chatter about his boots, jeans falling off and what not, in between his songs. This was a rather unique concert; he played a few songs that are unreleased at this point, i.e. we got to hear the makings of his next album. There was a rather different sound, as there was a violinist on stage. Something that has always impressed me is just that Guy has sung with a variety of things behind him - just a guitar, a full rock band, an orchestra, a marching band, a combination of the above, or sometimes nothing at all.. and has always sounded brilliant.

So some of the new music has a different sort of groove to it, there was one song in particular I really liked, which was a duet.. definitely looking forward to hearing more of that. I don’t think there was a definitive set list for the rest of the night. The night was marketed as a “Guy, live by request” night, and he had asked the Internet for it’s wishes.

Obviously, the band and he had prepared for certain combinations of songs and knew from the online polling, what sort of songs were generally going to be most requested, so at many points, he simply turned to the audience and asked us what we wanted to hear - and not just his own music either! At one point, he sung a bit of Umbrella, and in true Guy fashion, integrated some of his own lyrics in.. “Chris Brown is lucky… I wasn’t there.. “. His ability to improvise and spin lyrics out that actually fit the the tune never ceases to amaze me. One fan had got in contact with Guy and persuaded him to sing Sweetest berry as a dedication to his wife who was in the audience and happened to be celebrating her 50th birthday that evening. In the seat to my right. So she was integrated into the song too, and had an experience she’ll probably never forget.

There was a trip down memory lane, as Guy did a medley of songs from his Idol days, which I much enjoyed.. although, two that I really enjoy; Hello and The way you look tonight weren’t part of it. He also did a few songs from his first album, which brought back a lot of thoughts for me, as that was around when I first was introduced to Guy and began digging his groove. Still one of my favourites, My beautiful friend was dedicated to a sick girl in hospital that was listening via a phone link up. He tailored it especially for her and it was quite stirring. On that note, we were privileged to hear Perfection, a song he wrote for his wife, Jules, and sang to her on their wedding day. That was simply amazing; it basically was about the idea that God had got the angels together and decided to make a perfect woman, and went on to describe some of his characteristics, and how the angels wanted to keep her but someone on earth needed her.. ahh beautiful. Some of the final lines “When she was 21, she changed someone’s life… when she was 28, she became his wife.” She was in the audience too, I cannot imagine how she felt.. I was trying to picture it, to know that you’ve moved someone that much, to mean so much to someone. Just wow.

The night ended really well too - a massive encore, where he went and played the drums for a while and encouraged his drummer and bass guitarist to take the mic and the limelight for a few songs. I love that he pushes his band up whenever he gets the chance. He finished with a series of soul songs, mostly from his Memphis album, which was some good grooving! I realised afterwards, the entire set was 3+ hours - probably the most Guy I’ve got to experience in a single session, woo! Thanks to Kellie for an awesome night

On Saturday evening, I had the scariest driving experience.

As some would know, I’m still learning to drive, and as such, am liable to find myself in fearful positions every so often. Driving home from Woollahra with the Walls, we ended up in Bondi Junction and along the main road there back to the city. The streets were teeming with life; young and old were walking around, many wearing far too little in the clothing department for a chilly evening, and most definitely not entirely sober. In fact, there were a fair few instances of those who were a little more on the inebriated side, attempting to venture out into traffic, right from between two parked cars. Thankfully, I didn’t witness any accidents… but whoa. That wasn’t the scariest part though.

Heading along Oxford street through the city is not something I do too often on a Saturday evening. It’s clear that this part of the city does not sleep. There were the same challenges with pedestrians in the guise of Superman, the only difference is that this time you could see exactly where they had come from. But that wasn’t the scary part either.

Shorty after this, I looked left out of Graham’s window and found the light from the outside was obscured slightly; a strange shape in fact.

The shape had 8 legs and was not too small.

Thankfully, it was outside.. but that was by far and large the scariest part of the night. I don’t want to think about what my response would have been were it inside.

And it was alright! Josh and Binh’s wedding … phenomenal. First of all, I have never seen so many people gathered in one spot at 6 am. The fact that so many people were willing to do so, some travelling from other parts of the country, and some from other parts of the world.. wow. The location was the Coast Gold Course, in the eastern suburbs of Sydney, the aim was to have the sun rising between the two of them, surrounded by amazing greenery, sand and waves not far off at all. There was a minor hiccup with rain deciding to spit in our general direction right around the time we were due to setup outside, but as evidenced by Elisha’s (thanks!) photo above, it had long subsided by the time the action started.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again: I love weddings. Someone asked me the other day if I got tired of them. What?! In all honesty, I have only been to a few and feel compelled to talk incessantly about them. Sure, there are similarities between them - I mean, one of my favourite parts are the vows, which tend to feature in a lot of weddings. That doesn’t in anyway diminish from them though. Hearing people declare their love is such a beautiful act.. I don’t think I’ll tire of it. I can’t wait to be writing my own one day!
So aside from starting at 6am, this union also carried cultural bearing — the bridal party was garbed in traditional Vietnamese fare, which was certainly something new for me to witness. I guess I’m used to the groomsmen obsessing over the groom’s hair in the lead up to a wedding (particularly where my brother is involved). Between Josh’s head-full of long luxurious locks and the traditional headpiece he wore, there was a sense of participating in something long steeped in tradition (of which Western weddings naturally do too), but something just a little bigger.

For example, there was a part of the ceremony in which the couple served their parents tea. A simple gesture, but laden with great respect. I recognise that often, the reception speeches acknowledge and thank parents for the immense role they played in an individuals life, but I found this little part of the ceremony really resonated with me.

The rest of the morning passed quite smoothly - a bit of singing, dancing, someone almost getting knocked out by a golf ball, music and the speeches which as always are a delight to enjoy.The bridal party eventually left to take photos on their bridal (golf) cart, and suddenly, the entire hall needed to be cleaned and shaken up in half an hour. The Golf Club were opening for business that morning and we had to leave no trace of ourselves in their facilities. This was probably one of the most amazing parts of the morning: seeing literally everyone that was able, stepping up, lending a hand and working hard to return things to the state were in. I was so encouraged by that

Huzzah for weddings!