Fradam

The other evening, a curious sight was beheld: a sandwich in a zip lock bag. Perhaps not so remarkable on its own, but presented below for all to see.

What, pray tell, could be so interesting about this?

Why, the efforts one puts into getting inside!

This little pigeon struggled to pierce the plastic stronghold, but alas, in vain: its physical prowess was no match for this piece of human engineering. It reminded me of the last time I was attempting to peck my way through a zip lock bag - needless to say, it was a highly unfruitful experience.

More generically, I pondered how often we struggle against a foe that quite obviously represents an order of magnitude of difficulty greater than what can be borne… yet we try. Why do we try? The glimmer of hope that exists can have incredible resilience, particularly when partnered with a pillar of persistence. Humans are known for being stubborn, and I know I exhibit this trait on many an occassion. When I first began playing squash, I recall that it took 20 months for me to be the winner at the end of the night. 20 months of week after week, returning back home a loser of the evening, being forced to recount my shameful defeat to my housemates over dinner. Even when I did begin winning, it did occur to me that newborn-induced sleep deprivation may have slightly hampered my partner’s performance, so it did not even feel that I had improved greatly.

Yet we try. Immersing myself in stories of those who struggle against all odds and triumph is a delight. To know that others face hardship, but have succeeded by continuing to try… brings a smile to my face. It pushes me to keep trying. To keep dreaming the impossible dream. So my challenge for today is to look at what appears to be the immovable object in your life, and to keep trying. To persist, to push and to hopefully prevail.

Daylight savings is almost a thing of the past. Almost.

Not its existence, mind you, but its presence in media? In conversation…? In the mind? Almost gone. We are appoaching a time when daylight savings will simply occur and subconsciously affect the amount of light we enjoy in a day.

Today, I was nearly at church before I even realised it had occurred the night before. Phone? Automatically adjusts itself. Computer? Automatically adjusts itself. Analog clocks that require manual changes? They .. don’t exist in my house.

Thankfully, this means my alarms also realign themselves - otherwise that’d be slightly embarrassing come Monday morning. Although I heard if you have an iPhone, there might be cause for concern - any alarm that runs on multiple days will need to be reconfigured. I’ll admit though, now that we’re past that hump, I am certainly tempted…

I’ve long heard that those who are pregnant notice a lot more pregnant people around. The same for those who wear glasses - suddenly it seems like everyone wears them. No, I don’t have any large announcements to share.. but anyone who has been on the roads with me probably has had heard enough about the abundance of Excels on the road

More and more does this concept come true for me; any topic that crosses the mind seems to suddenly come alive in music, movies, conversation. Lyrics, random movie lines, new people and old alike.. the power of active thought seems phenomenal, almost scary and just a little bit magical. A part of me almost wonders whether the thought does more than simply draw the attention to the thought - whether it somehow creates the effect in the world around us. Ofcourse, by now you are crying things like “Ludicrous!” and “Entertain us further with your ridiculousness!”.. but is it really so strange?

What if I saw someone smiling, and that caused me to smile? OK, a smile isn’t an Excel.. but it’s a start. Perhaps if more people drove a purple car, there’d be more smiles!?

The other day, I purchased new laces for my old basketball shoes. The game on Sunday night felt a lot easier on my feet than games previously; my shoes were tighter, stronger, safer. I felt almost as if I had a new lease on my basketball life. Or at least that the life of my basketball shoes had been graciously extended a second life. Considering I’d been contemplating new shoes for some time, this was definitely a big saving too. So far, I’m 2/2 for basketball games since then too.

I wonder if it is possible to buy new laces for life.

Lately, the shoes have been looking a little worn out, and something new which would extend it’s life would certainly be welcomed.. but what?

I’ve heard that it is the bride’s perogative really, but clearly, Tom Hanks was having none of it. I am impressed!

I’ve just spent a sunny weekend up the coast, and whilst there, learnt a few random things about the land to the north.

• The speed limit for Learners is 110 km/h (in Sydney, it’s 80 km/h). It is debatable whether it is safer having 16 year olds doing 110km/h on a motorway, or having them driving at  80 km/h in the left lane (particularly in merging situations) is safer… but needless to say, discovering this on my last day certainly explained why so many cars were happy to sit right on my tail on the motorways. Good thing Queenslanders are renowned for being relaxed on the roads and all.
• You can’t do a U Turn at a set of lights, unless you see a specific sign indicating it is permitted. I’m sure it’s the other way round down here..
• This isn’t specific to Queensland, but I love Wikipedia to a fault - but need to be reminded every now and then to not simply believe everything I read there: http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/05/07/wikipedia_jarre_hoax/
• It is possible to purchase adult cinema tickets, at full price, and be paying less than $8 - it wasn’t even tight Tuesday! Unheard of in Sydney.
• The expansion of the Gold Coast airport, in order to allow it to field more international flights, is in a southward direction, i.e. further into NSW. On my return back home, I drove from QLD, to NSW (entrance to airport), walked back to QLD (where the gate was), then flew across the border into NSW (in a plane!). All in the space of an hour or two. I consider myself now a seasoned traveller.

Keep your eyes peeled for more trivialities in my soon-to-be-published “Guide Book to QLD”.

I apologise for the scattered nature of this post, but there was something on my mind that needed to get out. I saw two different films yesterday. The first was the new X-Men movie – Wolverine. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect. I’ve been an X-Men aficionado since childhood, something about the idea of humans being more than they are has a curious appeal. Possibly because a strange part of me feels that I might just have superhumanly long arms or something. I’ve never been a comic book person – my knowledge of the characters stems from morning cartoons, so with those memories in mind, I can’t say the experience differed far from expectation. The storyline developed around his relationship with Sabretooth, the various betrayals and counter-betrayals seemed only appropriate considering the somewhat confused state we find Wolverine in, in the first X-Men movie. Getting to meet Gambit was certainly a treat, and I hope to learn more of his history in future films. What I supposed surprised me the most were the action scenes. Aside from a few cheesy/movie-cheating moments, lots of it was quite “cool” (as witnessing people with superhuman abilities can be), but… hang on, it was cool?

I realise it’s just a movie. And movies aren’t real.

But when did scenes of violence, become cool? When did I become so desensitized that it didn’t affect me? What’s curious is that very concept was a storyline element in the film itself (Wolverine’s character developing a conscience and distaste for rampant destruction of life)… yet here I was, a viewer, who had the same issue. I know there are some films I’ve seen, which cross my own line. But the sheer majority of them, I wouldn’t bat an eyelid to the levels of violence depicted within. I feel guilt when considering this. Reflecting upon this makes me think about the films where they create animals out of humans by subjecting them to inordinate amounts of violent media; the theory being that what you put in, is what you get out. That principle does hold true for a lot of things, I can appreciate that… but I hope that all the violent films I watched growing up, hasn’t left me as some sort of raging beast, waiting to be let loose. I don’t dream of things like that, so I suppose that must be a good sign… i.e. the next time you see me, I don’t think you need to run.

The other film I saw yesterday was a video of my cousin’s visit to Australia back in 1997. My family took lots of photos of us growing up, but we couldn’t afford video. This was the first time I’d seen the younger version of myself moving around; talking and interacting with other people. The games we played. The things we laughed about. Aside from realising that my father could pass for an Indian film star, one of the things that stood out to me was the amount of wrestling/jumping/squashing sort of games there were. Part of me thinks of that as just part of the natural growing up process. Part of me considers a voice heard in the background of one of these scenes – “Where did they get so violent?” Thinking about that saddens me, as it’s a part of my childhood that obviously I’m not quite as proud of. I don’t recall being violent outside of the sibling rumble/tumble, so perhaps it’s not something I should worry myself over. I mean, we all went through that, right? That’s what I’m telling myself at the moment.

Perhaps what should worry me is the other side of the coin. What of apathy at the plight of reality for many, due to desensitisation from the media I’ve been exposed to? I realise we make decisions, on how we choose to respond to such stimulus, so don’t take this as blame-shifting. It’s not just the not-doing of things violent that concerns me, but the not-doing-anything-about of the violence in the world that concerns me. I want to respond.

Apathy does frighten me. I care… but am not always sure how to go about showing that.

     cant we        give ours          

  elves one more   chance why ca       

 t we give love that one more cha     

nce why cant we give love give lov   

e give love give love give love giv   

e love give love give love give cau     

se love’s such an old fashioned wor     

d and love dares you to care for t     

 he people on the edge of the nig      

  ht and love dares you to chan        

    ge our way of caring about          

      ourselves this is our l          

        ast dance this is o             

           ur last dance                

             this is o               

               ursel               

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                s                     

That’s right; I’ve found the secret. After a (relatively short) lifetime of saying goodbye to friends (as much as you can do when you live in your home town for 20 or so years), and struggling terribly with it, I’ve made a discovery which will possibly shock the world. Or at least this part of my world. Or well.. at least, it shocked me. As most would know, I distance myself from change as quickly as a leaf-dependent sloth gets away from a lithe jaguar. i.e. I invariably get caught, but hopefully make a tasty morsel for the change agent. All that could change (!) now, and become a thing of the past. In the future, I might just become a sloth that consumes more than leaves, I could sup upon branches too, and we may find that the jaguar no longer finds me quite as an attractive prey.

It’s really quite simple too. What is it exactly that I fear? Saying goodbye. The thought that I might not see the person(s) again. The thought that the world will not be the same; specifically, that the world will be particularly less pleasant from someone’s absence. The key to conquering the fear: don’t think of it as a goodbye. Believe that the world will not be the same, but that you might see the person again, and that although it may feel less pleasant initially, in the long-run it could just turn out okay.

Yes, I am quite aware that many people have been telling me this for literally.. years. But why in the world would I listen to friends and family who were trying to help me cope with saying goodbye to people? That sounds like way too good of an idea.

So, you’re probably wondering, how did such a revelation as this, come to me? What happened, that this simple piece of wisdom that so many have tried to impart to me, finally broke through?

On Friday night, I went to a farewell party; a common scene that I often struggle with. This time, it was different. Although I was farewelling a friend, I knew I’d be seeing more of her once she left (as peculiar as that sounds)… so I was able to very easily rationalise that life was actually going to get better. It was easy to do it in this case, because there was a matter of 3 days involved; I could connect the dots from the sadness of separation to the joy of joining myself.

As I reflect upon periods of saying goodbye in my life, these same dots existed, but usually had weeks, months, or in some case, years, connecting them. In the moment, my vision would be limited; I couldn’t see that far… but in hindsight, it seemed to always work out for the best. Someone looking out for me?

Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m seeing my recently farewelled friend. Hurray

Thanks to Kevin Rudd’s desire to stimulate the economy, I now have some unexpected cash. It’s a strange position. I did nothing to earn it, yet it’s there. There’s actually a peculiar discomfort with it. I cannot quite articulate it properly, so I might just fumble around a little and try. It’s an undeserved gift, if you will.. sounds familiar in a way, except there was no opportunity to accept or decline the gift, it just appeared in my account yesterday.

Now the question is, what to do with it? I feel there’s a sense of responsibility associated with it. The government wants me to spend it to help our economy, but as I understand it, unless you’re buying from wholly Australian owned businesses, that money is going overseas. That means most of the suggestions people have given me (car, chocolate, electric blanket mobile, computer parts etc) won’t really meet the intended goal.

I sort of feel like I’ve won the lottery and that the money should be going to a cause, or to help a need that I know of, but being woefully socially ignorant as always, my mind is drawing blanks. How shameful right? I know there is a tonne of need around me - locally, globally, and in people closer to me… and here I am wondering what to do with the money the government has given me. Something feels so self-indulgently unwholesome about this position.

So, my question to anyone who happens to reading this… what are you doing with your stimulus package? Do you have any suggestions? Just to reiterate, yes, chocolate has been suggested many times, but I don’t think even I could justify that much of it unless it was going somewhere else. Hmmmm…